Joke of the week

24 May 2021

I took my daughter with me to the beer garden yesterday. Awkwardly she asked me “Daddy, how can you tell if somebody is drunk?”
I wondered how best to describe this to a three year old, but I replied “you see those two men on the table next to us? If you were to see four men, then you are probably drunk.”
My daughter seemed quite puzzled by this. Then she replied “Daddy, I can only see one man sitting at that table.”

17 May 2021

I just got back from an amazing round-the-world trip. But as I crossed into Asia, I wet myself.
This happened again in Africa, North America, South America and Europe.
I think I must have an 'in continents' problem.

10 May 2021

A friend of mine has worked for many years in a bank in Seoul.
Yesterday he quit and decided to move to Pyongyang to open a whisky bar.
I guess he fancied a Korea change.

03 May 2021

I know I shouldn’t have but I decided to give my dog a sip of whisky yesterday evening.
Unfortunately this caused all of his hair to fall out.
It must have been a single moult.

26 April 2021

Apparently there is no record of Julius Caesar ever having spoken the words "thank you" to anybody.
Most historians agree that this is probably because he didn't speak English

We found them funny.